Saturday, July 23, 2011

my restless soul...

...craves adventure.

My best friend Leslie arrived back home today after being in a very foreign country for over a year.  In her return, I am so thankful to be able to give her big hugs and not have to look at a computer screen to see her smile.  I can finally pick up a phone and call her.  And not worry about time differences.  This next month is going to be exciting!

However, in her return, I am reminded of my past returns from foreign countries, and I am consumed by sadness.  Granted, there were trips when I was ready to be home.  I needed the comfort and security that home encompasses.  But in just a few days, I was ready to be on another adventure.  I wanted to continue traveling and see all that the world has.  I don't think I was made to sit still.  In just the last few months, I have discovered that I thrive on being busy...to a fault sometimes.  I know it's not always good to be perpetually busy.  I'm not afraid of sitting still, if that's what you are thinking.  I just like to manage my time well.

So I think my heart is craving an adventure.  And this isn't the first time I've experienced "cabin fever".  I just think it's God cultivating a future plan for my life.  This afternoon when I casually prayed a little prayer that went like, "Father, adventure?" He said, "Wait."

So wait.  It's not a concept that one really desires to hear when "I want to go now!"  But after asking again patiently, the same answer came: "Wait."

I will trust in His timing.  For lots of things - like med school, marriage, and now adventure.  I will have peace because I know His plans are better than mine.  I could not have imagined the growth He has allowed in my life since Leslie left last July.  I was a wreck, for multiple reasons.  That's about the best I can describe it.

And He has brought restoration and healing!  He is to be praised because He saved me from some of my darkest days and He alone is Lord over all.  I am so grateful He brought Leslie back safely.  And I trust that her return to a very foreign country will also be in His hands in just a month's time.  In the meantime, my heart will rest in Him who is Father and deliverer of peace.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Desire

of my heart:

ob/gyn maternal fetal medicine.

i got a flyer about a conference in seattle.  and i really want to go.  but i can't.

i'm writing a paper that has made a HUGE impact on my desire to pursue medicine in this field.

i really want to be a doctor.  so i'll continue to study for MCAT #3.

thankful for this life and all the puzzle pieces beginning to fit together!