Part 4.

*this post is a continuation of my real-life Dear John story.  visit here, here, and here to read the first 3 parts.*

Matthias saw us back to the hostel and we said our "guten nachts". Tomorrow would be our last day of ministry in the city.

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The trip was coming to a close. It was a fact that became more inevitable as time went on. Every night, I was anxious for the next morning. I couldn't wait to get to the church fast enough. By Tuesday morning, our last day of ministry in the city beginning, the American groups were dreading the inevitable good-byes to come later the next night. It might be bold of me to say, but I was definitely NOT looking forward to the separation from Matthias the following evening. Something between us made me believe he would also be dreading that moment.


The American groups separated for our final days in our areas. Because the Kreuzberg group had hosted a large party on Sunday night for the neighborhood, our day would be strategically focusing our energy into the parks. Matthias was the translator for my group, so we spent the majority of our day together.

The German students had put together a night of games to celebrate our time together. For our last official night, Matthias and I didn't spend much time apart. I was always conscious of where he was in the room. In my head, I was putting off the thoughts of saying good-bye. I didn't know what would happen once I left the country and got back home. We had already exchanged email addresses and snail-mail addresses one afternoon at lunch. We had means to communicate. But how well does cross-ocean "dating" happen? We would soon find out.

Matthias and me on Tuesday night before the games took place.

I was always good at being in my own little bubble. I never really shared what I was really thinking - and even to this day, I find it hard to express myself. I spent so many of my younger years being an introvert that now when I've figured out that I am a mixture of intro and extro, it's hard to switch. Nonetheless, I kept alot of my initial feelings and thoughts to myself. I was afraid of being judged and being told that what was happening between Matthias and I was fake - just an infatuation that wouldn't last. It didn't feel fake. I was 16. He was 19. But it felt like we had known each other much longer. 8 days? More like 8 years.

Wednesday morning, our last official day in Berlin before we traveled to Munich, started a little later. It was intended to be our "tourist" day. A part of the American group had decided to travel by train to the place where Martin Luther nailed the proclamation to the door. I wasn't really that familiar with history, so I was fine with opting to stay in Berlin and visit landmarks there. Some of the German students had decided to come with us on our adventures.

My favorite picture of Matthias and me.  This was taken in the hostel courtyard before leaving on Wednesday morning.

Geneva and me on the same hammock.

Before the Luther group left, I needed to make up my mind about which sights I wanted to see. There were 2 different groups forming from the team, and I had to make a decision. Matthias walked down to the bank with me because I needed to exchange more money for the remainder of the trip. At this time in my life, I was quite indecisive. As a result, I asked Matthias what he wanted to do that day.

His response? "I want to be wherever you are."

Butterflies swarmed my insides. My intuition was right. He did feel for me the way I felt for him. How did this happen in such a short time?!

We continued our walk to the bank in silence, got the money, and walked back to the hostel. My decision was made. We would stay in Berlin and travel in the smaller group.

A statue in Berlin...we felt like it represented our work with balloon animals rather well.

Part of the Berlin wall that has been painted by muralists.

After our day of sight-seeing, we headed back to the hostel to meet up with the other part of our team and eat dinner. After dinner, we packed up all of our suitcases onto the bus that would take us to the train station. The train, which would travel overnight, would take us to Munich. Because we had limited room on the bus, some of the students decided to meet us at the train station.

When we arrived at the train station, our team became a part of the organized chaos. As it turns out, our train would be delayed several hours. This meant that the majority of the local Germans with our team would not be able to get back to their homes merely because public transportation would be shut down that late at night. Amongst the brave ones who decided to stay, Matthias stuck out the long wait with our group.

Waiting in the train station on Wednesday night.  I'm in the maroon shirt in the middle with Matthias to my left (your right).

Finally, much, much later than originally anticipated, the train appeared.

Up to this point, Matthias and I have had very limited physical contact. Before we began boarding the train, he comes over to me to say good-bye. As we stood there hugging, it felt as though time stopped. As Matthias released our embrace, his hand ran lightly across my stomach. (Butterflies, behave please!!!)

Reluctantly, I board the train with the rest of my team.

Now, imagine a black and white movie. The girl has boarded the train, and is standing at the window, looking at her love on the podium below her. The train slowly starts to move. Gradually, as the train picks up speed, they catch eyes one last time, the train turns a corner, and the moment is over.

If there was a ever a time when I wanted a train to stop and turn around, it was at this moment. Where is the emergency brake?! This can't be possible...I can't handle leaving him like this! What has happened to me? Oh, dear...breathe. You will survive this. You will create defenses to protect the way you feel about this guy. It will not be over quite yet.

to be continued...